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Lost Thoughts: What are my core values?

  • Writer: The Lost Card
    The Lost Card
  • Jan 31
  • 5 min read

Updated: Apr 16

Feeling lost can be overwhelming, but asking yourself the right questions can help clarify your thoughts and guide you toward a path of self-discovery and direction. 


Diving deeper into understanding your core values requires thoughtful self-reflection, intentional questioning, and an exploration of what truly matters to you. Your core values shape your decisions, relationships, and overall sense of purpose, so identifying them can help you live a more authentic and fulfilling life. Here’s how you can explore them more deeply:


To help you find out what you value most about we prompt you to reflect, discover and practice.




Lessons from Life’s Experiences

One of the best ways to uncover our values is to reflect on key moments in life—both the highs and the lows. Think back to a time when you felt deeply fulfilled or proud. What was happening? Were you helping others, creating something meaningful, or experiencing personal growth? These moments often align with the things we value most.


On the flip side, consider moments that left you feeling frustrated, disappointed, or lost. What was it about those experiences that felt wrong? Often, these feelings arise when something contradicts a core value. Maybe a job felt draining because it lacked creativity. Perhaps a friendship ended because trust was broken. Noticing these emotional reactions can reveal what truly matters to us.


Understanding What Drives Your Decisions

The choices we make, whether in relationships, careers, or lifestyle are often rooted in our values. Think about the major decisions in your life. What influenced them? Were you prioritizing security, freedom, adventure, or connection? If a decision felt "right," chances are it aligned with your values. But if you've ever made a choice that felt off or led to regret, it might be because it clashed with something you deeply value.


This is a powerful realisation. It means that by identifying our core values, we can make better decisions—ones that bring us closer to the life we truly want.


Noticing Emotional Reactions

Our emotions can be powerful indicators of what we value. Think about what makes you angry or frustrated. Often, it’s when a core value is being violated. If dishonesty or lack of integrity deeply bothers you, truth and authenticity may be important values for you. Similarly, if seeing acts of kindness moves you, then compassion and generosity might be part of your core values. Paying attention to these emotional cues can offer profound insight into what truly matters to us.



Narrowing It Down: What Matters Most?

A practical way to explore your values is to create a list of words that resonate with you—things like honesty, creativity, independence, compassion, growth, or wisdom. Write down as many as come to mind, then start narrowing them down. Ask yourself:

  • Which of these values are absolutely essential to me?

  • If I could only choose five to define my life, which would they be?

  • Are these truly my values, or are they things I feel I should value?

It’s easy to mistake external expectations for personal values. Maybe success or stability has always been emphasized in your family, but deep down, adventure and freedom are what you crave. This exercise helps separate what feels right from what we’ve been conditioned to believe.


Visualise Your Ideal Life

Another way to uncover your values is to imagine your ideal life. Close your eyes and picture yourself five or ten years from now. What kind of work are you doing? Who are you surrounded by? How are you spending your days? What kind of impact are you making? These details provide clues to the values that drive you.


For example, if you envision a life full of travel and new experiences, adventure and curiosity might be at your core. If you imagine deep connections with loved ones, relationships and community could be central values. Paying attention to these dreams can help us better understand what we truly want.


“Any time you have difficulty making an important decision, you can be sure that it’s the result of being unclear about your values.” ― Tony Robbins

Aligning Your Life with Your Values

Once you’ve identified your values, the next step is to see if your current life aligns with them. Are you making choices that reflect what matters most to you? If not, where is there a disconnect? Even small adjustments—like how you spend your free time or the boundaries you set in relationships—can help bring your life closer to what you truly value.


Evolving with Time

Our values aren’t set in stone. What mattered most to us ten years ago may not be what we prioritize today, and that’s okay. Self-discovery is an ongoing process. Checking in with yourself regularly can help ensure that you’re staying true to what’s most important to you in the present moment.


At the end of the day, understanding our core values allows us to live with intention. It helps us make better choices, build stronger relationships, and find deeper meaning in our daily lives. The more we explore what truly matters to us, the more aligned and authentic our lives become.


Why is it important to ask what your core values are?

Understanding your core values is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. These values act as an internal compass, shaping your decisions, relationships, and overall sense of fulfilment. Without knowing what truly matters to you, it's easy to feel lost, make choices that don’t align with your authentic self, or be influenced by external pressures. When you take the time to identify your core values, you gain clarity, purpose, and a stronger sense of direction in life.


One of the biggest benefits of knowing your core values is self-awareness. When you understand what truly matters to you, decision-making becomes easier. Instead of second-guessing yourself or feeling torn between different options, you can ask: Does this align with my values? If the answer is yes, you move forward with confidence. If the answer is no, you know it's not the right choice for you. Without this clarity, life can feel uncertain, and decisions may be driven by external expectations rather than your own truth.


When your actions align with your values, you feel a sense of authenticity and integrity. You’re not living according to what society, family, or peers expect—you’re living in alignment with your truth. This brings a deep sense of inner peace because you know you’re being true to yourself. On the other hand, when you live in a way that contradicts your values, you may experience internal conflict, stress, or dissatisfaction without fully understanding why.


Additionally, knowing your values helps you set clear boundaries and build meaningful relationships. When you’re aware of what’s important to you, you naturally gravitate toward people who share or respect those values. You also recognize when a relationship—whether personal or professional—isn’t aligned with who you are. This awareness allows you to make conscious choices about the company you keep, fostering connections that support your well-being rather than drain you.


Finding out what your core values are is one of the most important steps in living a life that feels authentic, fulfilling, and meaningful. Your values shape your decisions, relationships, and sense of purpose. By taking the time to explore and define them, you empower yourself to live with greater clarity, confidence, and alignment. In a world full of distractions and external pressures, knowing your values is like having a map that keeps you on the path that’s truly meant for you. Follow The Lost Card: Lost Thoughts for more questions to help you find yourself and process your thoughts, emotions and motives. "Lost Thoughts" is a thoughtfully crafted series of questions designed to guide you when you’re feeling a bit adrift. Its purpose is to prompt deep reflection on your emotions and thoughts, helping you gain clarity and understanding. By exploring your inner self, you can foster a stronger connection with who you are and make meaningful improvements to your lifestyle.

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